Last Thursday not long after Sandra had arrived to look after the not sleeping (again!) Pickle for the afternoon, I was finally doing a wee when I heard a scream and sobbing and I raced out and grabbed my baby from her. His mouth was full of blood and he was hysterical so I just held him to me and reikied him and murmured ‘it’s all right, it’s all right’ in his ear while he cried  . . . and cried . . . and cried.  All I could see was the top of his golden head and the blood all over my white t-shirt and the stain kept growing and growing.

I had no idea what he had done and I wasn’t going to be able to look until he calmed down so I just kept holding him and loving him.  At one point I pulled off my tee shirt because I thought the blood must be upsetting him more so I was bare breasted Mama, fiercely protecting her cub.  Finally I took him outside because nature always calms him as it does me, and we stood by the flying fox and watched the river as he cried.

After a while he wriggled to go down and I let him and crouched down with him, but as soon as his feet hit the ground, the sobbing started again.  So I sat legs akimbo and pulled him to my chest again and waiting til he stopped.  He stopped and I pulled away and it all started again, crying like his heart would break.  I could even hear the emotions as they tore through him – ‘the world isn’t a safe place any more’, ‘I hurt’, ‘it isn’t fair’, ‘life isn’t supposed to be like this’, ‘I hurt’ and there was nothing I could do about any of it just be there – I couldn’t turn back time, I couldn’t make it go away and I couldn’t heal it – what sort of Mother was I?

Eventually he stopped and I took him back to the house and poor Sandra who had the guilt of being the one in charge eating her up.  More Emergency Essence and we stripped him and put him in a nice warm bath to get clean both physically and energetically – wash away the trauma, rinse away the pain.  Sandra played with him while I made a bottle dosed with Arnica, chamomile and more Emergency Essence and at last we could see what he had done.  Top teeth through bottom lip, one tooth right through to the outside by the looks of things.  Hard to say but looked like the teeth were all still where they had been.

OMG my poor child.  No blame, just sorrow – it could have happened with any of us, and once they start standing upright some big fall is inevitable.  But if I could turn back time  . . . I would in an instant.  If only we could erase all the pain and hardship from our loved ones lives, if only we could rewrite history and change the bad decisions we have made, the unnecessary pain we have put them through, the terrible things we say, the thoughtless things we do, the hurt we inflict whether knowingly or unknowingly.  If we could edit our own lives as easily as we edit words on a page, how different we, and the world would be.