Even God rested on the 7th day . . .

by . Posted on
03 Nov

Eureka!

I have been going round and round my little house and the outer edges of insanity as well as riding a rollercoaster of emotions (none of them pleasant!) and poor Ged has borne the brunt of the hormonal hell so I sat us down the other night and allocated strict allocation of chores and suggested I have one day off my new life as Mum a week.  Ged agreed to have Saturday as his day off his life as a slave to the wage or the farm and spend it solely with his son and I get to do whatever I want as long as I come back and bare my breasts every three hours (for Ben, not Ged, obviously!!)
So I had Saturday mucking out my horses and mowing the lawn and pruning the lavendar bushes etc – bliss.  I finally realised just how trapped I had felt in my little cottage with my only excursions to the washing line and back once I had the right to roam again and the body that would finally allow me to lift and bend etc.  I hadn’t realised how restricted I had been physically in the last month or so of pregnancy and then the post partum pain and posterior pronouncements!  So all of a sudden I felt free to be me again and to do once more, instead of giving directions from my armchair where I was chained to my son and Little House on the Prairie!
And by the end of the day I understood that I really needed that day off – no wonder I was going mad!  And I have felt so much better ever since – it was like a door opening in my head and light shining through it.  I had even begun to wonder if I was going to be a post natal depression statistic.  But that beautiful day and 12 hours sleep have changed me into a much nicer, calmer person and we are all the better for me having Time Out.  And Ged loves his day of doing very little with his blue eyed boy so it’s a win-win for everyone.
The gradual healing of my body also makes me feel a lot happier – Macca says us older ladies do take longer to heal, but it is a slow process, and you know me, I am not a patient soul!!  Although I am taking Bush Flower Remedies to try and change that habit and I do seem to be slowing down, expecting less of myself and others and just doing what I can do and not stressing about the rest . . . after all, the dust and dirt will still be there tomorrow and as Scarlett O’Hara always said ‘tomorrow is another day . . . ‘

Breast is Best

by . Posted on
27 Oct

Well they may have been small (but perfectly formed) but they are now Big Bertha-ish and obviously filled with the right formula, because the little man has put on 625 grams (well over half a kilo!) and grown – wait for it – FIVE CENTIMETRES since he was born.  Breast is definitely best for Benjamin!

And his Mummy is a lot happier because her Emma Roids (as Millie so subtly calls them) are gone . . . we consulted Dr Google and found numerous references to topical application of Apple Cider Vinegar and since we have gallons of that which we feed to the horses, I decanted a small amount for my bathroom use and began applying with some serious trepidation as to stinging, but no pain, no gain and actually there was no pain at all so I kept going and now they are gone!  Admittedly the fairly intrusive and extensive Bowen manouevre our practitioner did when I had a treatment the other week to hoik my insides back up where they belong has also made a huge difference.
Now just need to keep doing my Kegels to try and rearrange that part of my anatomy too . . . I found this classic website the other day ‘What to Expect’ by the author of ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and looked up Post Partum Pain.  Under Cause it said ‘passing a 7, 8, 9 or 10 pound baby through a relatively small opening’.  Oh yeah – that’ll do it every time!!
I’m still loving my Little House on the Prairie sessions and will be lost when I have finished them all.  These will be the only programs Ben is ever allowed to watch – they teach him to be God fearing and loving, say his prayers, walk three miles to school and back every day, love his Mummy and Daddy and, most importantly, DO HIS CHORES!!
We are still being overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity – trips to the Post Office are becoming Santa-ish for Ged.  We have clothes and toys from every far flung corner of the country and world and Master Benjamin is definitely best dressed in the neighbourhood – thank you!
His Mummy will be a lot happier when she can get into her clothes again – in my lifetime do you think?

Dairy Cow

by . Posted on
20 Oct

It was pointed out to me during the week that I am less of a Mad Cow and more of a Dairy Cow now that Benjamin has laid claim to my boobies!

Last week I really did feel like a Dairy Cow – Benjamin was on the boob from 7am til 10, 11 or even 12 pm with only brief breaks for power naps while I rushed around trying to wash nappies, wash up, and wring my hands and in the evening go out into my shed for a good howl and a bit of ‘me’ time while Ged soothed the little man.  As you can imagine, I don’t believe in dummies, but after one particularly harrowing and long day I said ‘right, that’s it, tomorrow we are getting a dummy’.  ‘Do you want a dummy’ asked Ged shyly (or was that slyly?).  ‘I’ve got one in the car!’  It turns out that he, knowing more about parenting and babies than I, has seen all his friends resort to a dummy at some stage and taken it upon himself to buy a couple ‘just in case . . . ‘  Well, bless that man, that dummy is my new best friend!!
I can walk away with raw, depleted breasts and Ged can get Benjamin to sleep with rocking and cuddling and that blessed dummy in his mouth!
By Monday I was a basket case and luckily Macca came visiting.  She reprogrammed that little boy back from the devil incarnate he had become, into the sweet little angel we originally ordered and were delivered!  Thank God!  She has put us both on a three hour feed and sleep schedule which is going great and allows me some sleep, a life and hopefully the chance to get some work done at last!
He’s a lot happier with lots more sleep, and we have some fun play times, so it seems I was torturing him by keep offering him the boob when he got sucky, as much as I was torturing myself (I should start saving for his therapy now, you think?) and I’m a lot happier with some semblance of a life back . . . being chained to a chair in the lounge, with a boy on a boob 24/7, I had taken to watching ‘Little House on the Prairie’ episodes to stave off boredom and the men in the white coats . . .even a dairy cow only gets milked two or three times a day!!
So thanks to everyone who offered support, sustenance and a shoulder to cry on during my week from hell, and here are some happy pictures of us now that the good ship Motherhood is back on a more even keel!

The children are all in clover!

by . Posted on
13 Oct

Tinkerbell has been locked up behind the house for a couple of weeks now as she has laminitis.  She was therefore present for the birth of the baby who will love, master and live with her into her dotage.  She just lay by the back door all through labour and didn’t call out for Baby or make a fuss about her confinement like she normally does as soon as the sun is up.  Instead she was quiet, present and contemplative until Benjamin was safely birthed into her world.

Then Baby came down with it!  First time ever and the result of a crazy clover season.  We all have hundreds of acres of clover at the moment – too much, too rich, for all the stock.  It would seem that after all that rain and our two floods, after ten years of drought, all the dormant seeds in the ground are thriving.  So now we have Two ponies locked up in a very small section of the house paddock, and then, just when Tinkerbell was getting better, she became a three legged horse, literally hopping, and in despair I called the vet out.  She had been up to her normal Houdini escapologist tricks and somehow had severely injured her hip.  That’ll teach her, you would think, not Tinkerbell . . . she may only be hopping but she can still get out!  Electric fence put paid to her shenanigans but what with a new baby, two sick ponies and a dog who is definitely not getting enough attention I was pretty close to reaching the end of my tether . . . !
Macca came and weighed Ben and he has put on HALF A KILO – pretty impressive . . . there’s goodness in them there boobies after all!  There’s no doubt that Master Love is a tit man – those big blue eyes light up every time the milk bar opens and he starts licking his lips . . . I am trying to teach him that it is good etiquette to kiss the girls first, not go straight for the boob!!
And I have discovered that he is a complete groover – he has moves, he has rhythm, he LOVES to dance with his Mummy – will get Ged to take pictures.
All my plans of having three months off work went pretty much straight out of the window and we were working three days after the birth (pretty impressive!) and am now just squeezing it in between feeds – so on a good day I might get two or three solid hours of work under my belt – keeps me on my toes!
Ged went back to work this week, although he had done about 4 days work during his two weeks paternity leave so it didn’t feel like a holiday and nothing got done on the farm, but he and Benjamin just adore each other and he is in charge of winding and soothing the little man, and I take care of the input and while he is at home, the output is all his!!
Gotta go, I hear His Master’s Voice . . .

Midwife knows best

by . Posted on
06 Oct

Tired, sore, shocked and happy!
Now I know why no-one can explain childbirth to you – it is inexplicable.  There are no words to convey the act of labour, and I have a whole new respect for anyone who has ever endured it.  And if you’ve done it more than once, I take my hat off to you!  How could God be a man when only woman can conceive, nurture, grow and birth a baby?  Man has many roles – protector, provider, rock and comforter, but he is no creator of life, and let’s face it no man could possibly live through labour!!
Macca stayed on the farm with us for four days fulfilling a vital role of counselor, friend, Mother, nurturer, rest police and breastfeeding expert.  I am so grateful for that.  I didn’t realize until after she was gone how much you need a wise friend who knows the ropes and will help you adjust and learn your new role – without judgement, with compassion and with infinite patience.  Macca was that person and more and I feel so blessed that we have had her to share and learn from as we move through this major transition in life.   Three days after the birth we (Ged, Macca and I) planted the placenta under an ‘Emperor’ Mandarin tree at the heart of our new, circular, vegetable patch.  How fitting that Benjamin’s life support system should begin to feed Avalon’s.  May he always be grounded, loved, nurtured and held here in his place in the world, his home, his land, his link to Mother Nature and the Goddesses who bore and birthed him.  We three witches planting a placenta under a star-filled night in the centre of a circle – very pagan, very elemental, very right.  Of course when Macca left, the Baby Blues arrived and I had a few howling sessions – mostly I was so proud of myself for having successfully traversed this major milestone in my life – against all the opposition and naysayers, the dream stealers and the prophets of doom.  Also I was so grateful to Macca for having been such a wonderful facilitator, helping us to make our dreams come true.  She was invisible and yet ever present, allowing, facilitating, encouraging and witnessing, the lighthouse we steered by, our guide and comforter as we wrestled with something beyond our control.
And now we are getting to know the newest member of the Love family . . . much is familiar from his habits and patterns in utero, but so much is brand new territory.  Luckily Ged knows more about babies than I do from his years looking after his cousins and Steve and Cherie’s boys.  But we have Macca at the end of a phone, and visiting once a week for the next six weeks, and we have intuition, a deep well of love for this miracle baby of ours, and a beautiful home to share with him . . .
Needless to say, Phoenix has his nose well and truly out of joint and he is not ‘the most beautiful boy in the world’ any more which is pretty harsh.  But I hope he will love Ben as much as we do with time . . .

And unto us a son is born

by . Posted on
29 Sep

‘And unto us a son is born.  Unto us a child is given’

I can’t claim an immaculate conception – we all know I’m no virgin!  But the whole process has been pretty miraculous.  And after a week of waiting, waiting, waiting (and not being very patient) for this baby to finally wend his way out of my womb and into our world, we finally went into labour at about 10pm on Sunday night, starting off fairly easy and relaxed so I called the midwife and agreed to talk again in an hour.  While I went to bed and rested between contractions (or waves as we prefer to call them!).  At 11.30 we agreed that she would slowly pack the car and make her way over and got here about 2am.  I was still saying we should all go to bed and try and get some more rest but she sent Ged and I on a walk under the stars on the river flat and after that things started speeding up.  I spent hours in the birthing pool and we had a candlelit night enjoying ‘Pachelbel in the Garden’ on CD (thanks, Mummy!) but when day broke it was time to get out of the water and move into the next stage.  Another walk down the paddock and the pushing began in earnest and then 3 hours later we had a baby in the bathroom.  Ged was essential to every stage of the process and I hung off him with every wave and our midwife, Macca, was just amazing – no internals, no judgement, no directions – she just allowed the birth to progress as it would, giving us no timeframes or expectations just peace and serenity, encouragement and useful suggestions.  Just the three of us, birthing our baby, at home, at Avalon, where we wanted to be and are safe and loved and held in the embrace of the land.
It was a beautiful day – brilliant sunshine, and Benjamin was born at 12.18.  Just over 7lbs and 50cm long (19.68 inches).  He is breastfeeding well, sleeping beautifully, and is pretty peaceful to be around.  We are all a bit tired, and taking it very easy for the week.  Macca is staying to make sure we are all under control and know what we are doing and generally helping out.  So here he is . . .

Waiting for Baby . . .

by . Posted on
22 Sep

I was so sure that by now we’d have a baby to share with you.  However, it was that little curly haired blonde girl who told me she was going to be a Virgo, 9 months ago.  So since she is a boy, instead of a girl (presumably that means dark haired too), it is inevitable that he will be a Libra instead!  Oh well, we need a bit of BALANCE in our lives . . .

So here I sit, gross with child, puffy feet, wrists and ankles . . . it’s not quite 2 in the morning and I have been up since the witching hour.  Tinkerbell has a chronic case of laminitis so I sat out with her for an hour, doing reiki on her gurgling tummy and tortuous toes and now I am catching up with you all . . .
Waiting for a baby to come is a very funny feeling.  You clear the decks, refuse to plan anything and then life comes calling and you have to get back into it, regardless.  I had sworn that I was going to be a little stay at home farm girl for the next few weeks.  The midwife has my 4WD in case of flood so I am grounded and dependent on my husband for his wheels.  Feeling that birthing was imminent he did a huge shop last Tuesday and came home to me smiling sheepishly saying that one of my clients needed me to second interview staff for him (all part of the ‘how we grow your business better’ service!!) so I was going to glam up, grab the car and get gone . . . .
It’s a good thing he has the patience of a saint . . . !  I got heaps of work done last week, actually, perched in my little nook above the washing machine, even though my clients have to put up with my Baby Brain, and a few suppliers have been on the receiving end of the ‘don’t mess with the pregnant lady’ temper.  My fuse was always shorter than most  . . . it’s non-existent now!
So we have been adding finishing touches – we have curtains in our bedroom now and hooks on the back of doors and all those little details which make life easier and a house a home.  One of the neighbours came over on Saturday night bearing a home-made baby quilt for Benjamin which was very kind . . . and Ged came back from the Post Office on Friday laden down like Santa Claus with parcels for this very spoilt Baby Love – amazing how kind and generous everyone has been – thank you!  After forcing the poms to go Baby Gap shopping for organic clothes for us, we have FINALLY found a nice, reasonable, online store where we love the products and they even have a ‘specials’ department for seconds and sale items – can’t recommend it highly enough: www.babyecostore.com.au
Meanwhile we are enjoying the community parenting displayed by the mixed horse/cow herd.  Arthur gets babysat by whoever is willing and can be a long way away from the rest of the herd with his chaperone.  Both Arthur and Phoenix are desperate to be friends (the latest is Arthur keeps wandering up to Phoenix) but one of the over-protective herd nannies puts its head down and charges to shoo Phee away.  The definite down side of having Arthur is that Phee has discovered a new doggie delicacy – calf poo.  I’m sure it’s very tasty but it doesn’t agree with his digestion – Ged and I are suffering from his constant and cruelly overpowering wind as a result . . . phew!
I guess I’d better go to bed and TRY and get some sleep  . . . maybe this time next week I’ll have someone to show off . . . meanwhile here’s the only baby we’ve got for now!

Extreme Nesting!

by . Posted on
15 Sep

Having got Arthur safely on the ground and on the udder, we had a crazy week turning our little house into a welcoming home for Benjamin.  (Having been so certain about a name for so long, I have to admit to being completely open-minded now about what he/she might be called.  I guess he/she will tell me when they get here . . . )

Ged spent the weekend sanding first the Baby’s room floor and then our room.  Which obviously necessitated complete removal of everything from both (as well as the dismantling of most of the rest of the house to protect everything from dust) so we were camped out sleeping on the mattress on the sitting room floor for almost a week while the subsequent layers of Tung Oil were applied and dried.  Not comfortable!  Especially when you are a Weeble and can’t get up from a lying position at the best of times!
On Tuesday Ged drove me into Port Macquarie for a fairly full on day of getting jobs done, supplies in, last treatments for both of us prior to the birth and a trip to the midwife (who now has my 4WD – just in case of floods!)  Then I had several days when work was completely abandoned as I wielded my trusty paintbrushes and rollers.  I call this ‘extreme nesting’!!  At 5pm on Friday night the upholsterer delivered the newly loose covered sofa and at 7 we had the lovely Chris and Ruth Latimore over for supper . . . and after some fairly hilarious and very stressed joint effort, we have a house that is truly and properly a home . . . at last.
Saturday was the most surreal and peaceful day – hot and airless and lazy.  Ged gave me a massage which was blissful and then I went for a walk before coming home to eat and sleep.  It felt as if I could FINALLY rest now that we had the home I had so long envisioned.  And the day had a most meditative quality, the calm before the storm . . . so when the Baby spent all day Sunday wriggling down into a full-on birthing position and the Braxton Hicks doubled me over, I was sure we were starting labour, and after eight months of talking confidently about it, the fear set in . . . .  But by late that night it had all calmed down (false alarm!) and it looks like we are back on track and I have had my little terror tantrum!
I will have to get Ged to take a picture as I am absolutely ENORMOUS now, and looking forward to being able to do up my shoes again.  Although as I said to Ged the other night, I have been pregnant for so long that I can’t remember what NOT being pregnant feels like.  Arthur is growing like a weed and it is fascinating to witness the herd mentality to Mothering – he is always baby-sat by someone, male or female, horse or cow, and all the cows are chasing Phee away from his new friend (much to Phee’s simultaneous amusement and disgust!).  Even Tinkerbell has become broody which is hilarious to see, and Baby is adamant that she is going to the stallion in a month or so when the Baby Bonus money comes in (after all, it has got her name on it!)
So here we sit, being patient now, clearing the desk and waiting to meet this little person I’ve been growing . . . as ready as we can be in body, mind, space and soul.  Another new chapter is about to begin  . . .

Arthur, King of Avalon

by . Posted on
08 Sep

Well that Mad Cow FINALLY had her baby!  Her udders were so swollen she could barely walk so Ged had a big chat to her when he fed her on Saturday night and said ‘that’s enough, Paddy, you’ve got to have that baby now.’  And when he woke up yesterday morning she was standing apart from the rest and looking a little strained so he went out to give her a hand.  Apparently the nose and hooves were out but Paddy was heaving so he got his hands in there and eased the head, neck and shoulders out.  The rest came out with just one push.  (Good that he is getting lots of practise!)  And we have a little bull for the farm.  Arthur, King of Avalon.  He’s VERY cute and cuddly with the longest, spikiest lashes you have ever seen.

So we wasted quite a lot of time oohing and aahing over him yesterday and making sure that he was on the udder and sucking properly – Ged had to help him get on the teat and work it all out.
Last week was pretty quiet – we had grey skies, wind and rain for Wednesday and Thursday and I took to my bed with a mean old cold.  I can’t work out whether I am exhausted and it’s finally caught up with me and now I am the incredible sleeping giant, or whether I am just trying to bank some sleep for the future . . . probably a bit of both!  It seems strange that after months of not sleeping properly, now that the head is engaged and all the books say I should be weeing more frequently and more uncomfortable at night etc, I am sleeping like a log!  Typical, contrary me!
Friday we had torrential rain and we both had plans to be in Port Macquarie.  Even though the rivers and creeks were rising we made the call to get in and get out as quickly as possible.  Ged was selling his car, so that couldn’t be put off, and I had to pick up the sander etc but the conditions were terrible so we really were running around!  We finally left Port Macquarie just after 4 and the closer we got to home, the less likely it seemed we would get in.  Every creek and causeway was flooded and we were in Ged’s new van which hasn’t had the suspension raised yet so we weren’t taking any chances . . . Sure enough, we got to Tom’s Creek and didn’t like the look of it.  Ged waded across to gauge the depth and flow and remove a lot of branches from the bridge (he was securely tied on to the car to do this – don’t try this at home!) and it was a foot deep and whereas that would have been fine in the Pajero or the Hilux we had just sold, no good for the Delica.  We need to toughen it up first!
So we decided to walk home and come back for the car in the morning (5kms).  We put on whatever waterproofs we had (Mel, you will be pleased to hear that the only hat Ged had in the car was his UK flat cap and since we have now discovered that it suits him, it has become a firm favourite, getting lots of wear this weekend!) and then were lucky enough to see a hitherto unmet neighbour on her way home and she drove us all the way to the Flying Fox.  Thank God, I was not looking forward to getting my feet wet and cold and then the long march home, especially when I was only just recovering from a cold.  The lovely Chris Latimore came and picked Ged up on Saturday morning and took him back to the car, so we are well served with kind and compassionate neighbours out here in the country!
Ged was sick on Saturday with some sort of horrible tummy bug so I dosed him all day with homeopathics and reiki, knowing he just needed a rest – he has been working really hard both during the week and at the weekends, so his body finally forced him to take it easy.  Thankfully he was better on Sunday though – lots to do!!!  He sanded back the floor in the baby’s room which is now looking and feeling lovely and I have got two coats of Tung Oil down so far.  In a couple of days we will have it all ready for the little man and then he can move in!

George is MIA

by . Posted on
01 Sep

It’s the end of an era at Avalon . . .

George has been missing in action for months, (ever since the wedding!) occasionally spotted with faithful horse and hounds, driving the cattle hither and yon, but no sign of him on his tractor, shaping the farm for the future.  Direct questions about the possibility of coming back to work have met with evasive answers and we have been bamboozled as to what happened to our man on the spot, Mr Foster!
Getting some of the most pressing chores completed has been a stressful exercise in constant nagging – something I have a degree in, but I like to save my efforts for my husband!!
And we have been worried about him – he hasn’t seemed the same, has been tired and depressed and whereas he always used to tell us his troubles so we could share the burden, he has been silent and morose.  Careful investigation has revealed that his son’s wife is now dying of the cancer she has been undergoing chemo for, and Marcia, George’s wife, has taken to her bed in the old people’s home in Wauchope and is going downhill fast . . . It seems that George has enough stress in his life without me on his back!  So we have agreed to go our separate ways and George has taken all his cattle off and paid us for the agistment he owed.  Now we can give the land a good rest ( we have been very overstocked and this dry winter has left us pretty bare and barren) before starting our own herd sometime in 2009.
We have been discussing other agistment options etc but the trouble is that no cattle owner will take good long-term care of your land – they want the short term gain of maximum dollar for their pound of beef, so we have decided to do our own thing – build a herd very slowly while we shape the land to suit it – clearing the weeds and seeding the pasture so the farm can carry its stock comfortably, whatever the weather throws at us.
We’ll have to get a tractor next year and then I can learn to drive it (only on the easy, flat bits)!  In another 12 or so years before Ben can pick up the mantle . . . .
Scottie and Ged had another day clearing Ged’s shed on Saturday so that is finally all over bar the shouting.  I have cleaned out the linen cupboard and we spent all day yesterday clearing our office out of the Baby’s room.  I am now esconced in the laundry above the washing machine and the nappy buckets and Ged is perched around the corner temporarily, so this week’s big job is preparing the baby’s room.  We have also been having a giant cookathon – filling the freezer with soups and bean stews so we can really relax and enjoy the new addition when he/she finally arrives.
So much for being feet up on the couch with a joey in my pouch . . . chance would be a fine thing!!